Crochet and Grieving.
I took Sadie for a walk today because it is finally nice out and while we walked I realized something. I got through the winter by crocheting through my grief. I am blessed to be able to stay home while my hubby works and the kids are at school. Normally I use that time for various craft ventures, housework, baking and really whatever else I feel like doing. Walking the dogs for an hour or so a day was always a part of my day as well, however, this fall and winter I didn’t walk. My grieving left me unable to face to world most days and just getting through the day was a victory for me.
The one thing I did keep doing, and did everyday, was crocheting. I got up in the morning, did the bare necessities in terms of housework (yes the house is a horrible grungy mess right now) and then picked up my hook and yarn. I have designed and crocheted probably 30 projects since October 2018. Some worked, some didn’t,some I wear all the time or use all the time and some I have taken apart and used the yarn for something else. I wrote down the patterns for each one with the intention of publishing them but never actually did. I thought about it. Planned it and obsessed over publishing the patterns here on the blog but haven’t. Why? Mostly because I’m grieving and going outside to take pictures means I might have to join the world for a while.
I did ask my children for help but they are really not interested in crocheting AT ALL. So I just kept going. I probably seem like a crazy person to most people I the world but honestly I don’t care. My husband gets annoyed but seems to understand and my kids are ambivalent. They are what matters and I guess I do know that deep down.
So if you happen to receive something from me that is crocheted it means you helped me along the way. Helped me to heal from the loss of my daddy. A loss I don’t think I will ever really get over but who wants to get over a loved one? And if you are grieving or dealing with something and crouyour way through it then I say good for you. It may appear to others that you are standing still but you are creating and turning that grief or hardship into something tangible. I say give yourself a break and keep it up.
Have a great day from Tracy K.